The Unemployment Thing

On Monday about half our staff was let go, as mandated by our (well.."their") VC masters in order for the company to stay open. This included me. The scuttlebutt is the remainders -- generally, the elder gods of the company -- are waiting for a nicer severance when the place folds up around August or so. There are a couple of remarkably good deals on the table, still, but the place is now so operationally crippled these may be impossible to exploit. Our CEO, hired ~3yrs ago specifically to figure out how to sell the company, has only succeeded in pissing everyone off, though I'm sure he'll land on his feet since CEO's never screw up.

The scratcher is this about the best thing I could hope for. To begin with, the product I spent most of the last two years on was in no way a deal maker/breaker, so even if I could make the thing do dishes and speak Esperanto the outcome probably would have been the same. Second, I have ("had", geez...) plenty of misgivings about my position and the work was doing, but instead of a stretch of miserably great effort followed by a part-time job search, I walk away with a good rec and referrals from my boss, cash from a severance, and almost a clear conscience.  I could've stood to choose my departure time, but we can't have everything.

So, as I was sitting downstairs on Monday night...sun going down, windows open, flowers bobbing in the breeze in front of the screen, I couldn't find fault in the moment. I felt such relief -- you have no idea -- and I realized I'd almost come to terms with the truth: I don't work for the job, I work to provide. My jobs require honesty, decency, and cooperation, so this doesn't make me a mercenary, but I have clear priorities beyond the employers themselves. I feel relief that, at least for the moment, the obsessive nerd in me is worthless and I can take a break, answer my kid's 7yr-old questions, and watch the tide roll in.

(...I do kinda hope I can get a new job, though. Just saying...)